Spent haunted childhood alone, afraid Spent adolescence alone, afraid Growing older now alone, afraid Soon I’ll close my eyes alone, afraid Oh what I’d do to kiss those luscious, doll-face lips! Just one night alone with my calloused hands on your hips I’m sorry I’ve said too much

Torn, split like a lunatic Watching the movements that make me sick Venom, it’s haunting, gotta let it out Venom, it’s daunting, gotta let it out George sees you for what you are The world is changing and oh so bizzare Venom, it’s haunting, gotta let it out Stoned again, there’s love in my eyes Only friend, it’s hard to see life It’s me, it’s me and my head, it’s not just a laugh For you and your friends My friend, what’s with you now? Your head sinks so low, you seem sad and so lonely My friend, come with me now We’ll break all the windows and drink until morning My friend, can you not see? The promise of heaven is nearing us swiftly My friend, can you not see? The strings that made me are the strings that will kill me My friend, be kind, be honest The people will tear us limb from limb to sawdust Pain It's my biggest fan So sweet and sad I want to cure him

Sometimes, I feel as though I might just fall Into the center of your skull Everyone else seems so dull There’s a light with your initials on it here It brings the wonders Of your world That eats and breathes and sleeps In radiance I wanna find that love again So much for forgetting you And I don’t really care Just where we go from here As long as we never look back and shame ourselves As long as we never look with hate As long as we always promise to move ahead As long as we always promise to wait I’m here to wait For you

In my head there’s too much whispering Tell my baby I’m far from home Grinning paintings always listening Tell my baby I’m far from home I find it hard to speak to these pigs in my cage Tying chains into figure eights Moment to moment the ceaseless involvement With cowards with nothing to say I wanna escape I wanna escape Pulled six nails and counting I want to escape Every day Sweet agony I try to change No luck for me No luck for me I’ll beg you vapid wraths to face your fate No savings, no changes Just when I heard your sweet skin cry For once I didn’t want to die Let’s join in the fun, let’s join in the rave Let’s praise and be grateful for all of this Pain, it’s my pain You can’t take that from me It’s too sacred And I don’t see any other way To view the face of the divine Hate, precious hate You can’t take that from me It’s too sacred And I don’t see any other way To take up all of my free time Little specks of dust left You’ll just have to find me You seem so kind Oh please kill me All alone is all I know I’m so remorseful

The law Set fire to us And this cum-covered couch You went up state And I stayed here strung out White privilege lost Once black doors were shut Just a piece of good ass Just another young slut Boy toy for sale Wig not Included Auctioneers take Rep and cigarettes Outside feels dull Outside is lame So collect guns So I locate veins Sex is for strength Pain is for addicts Drinks are for wives “H” is for half-wits When I was 12 My mom took me swimming In a glacier-fed lake Far from the city I felt truly loved No failures in sight She was drunk on red wine I was high as a kite The lucid are scared Calculating their debts So they turn to pills And I fuck them to death Dread, It’s the tits, It’s the shit, It’s the best And I can’t tell you all That eats and crawls And spins webs in my head I’m still holding onto dread Dining and feeding While everyone’s bleeding It’s dread Keep em in check Keep em abreast With dread The law Shut our sins down With black kevlar vests You slept in hell After your arrest Three years this month You sharpen shiv You held in your tongue Cause I never forgive The days stay the same Predictable world Still sell to your kids Still sell to your girl Benzos in her purse Oxys and candies She gets them for free When she begs on her knees She knows a thing about Pleasing a man with higher stature And violent attributes Hey, business is business But it’s power for me Your girl is afraid And cowards are prey Dread, It’s the tits, It’s the shit, It’s the best And I can’t tell you all That eats and crawls And spins webs in my head I’m still holding onto dread

You are pond scum You are dead to me The cellar doors would close There was nothing there But cold and damp And I would box with drunken monsters 8 years old, I’d sleep with garbage You are pond scum You reflect no light 20 years have gone by I've tied you to your favorite chair And I will watch you die under my fists and leak out blood and piss You are pond scum You deserve no life Stepfather I hear your name In my dreams You’re the violent man This violent man Is doomed to become And remain

all we wanted was a place in heaven all we asked for was to belong and as we worked for no love our hands would shake and as we worked for no one our backs would break and after work for so long we sang and drank complot gold lungs breathing lies through a thousand cycles god only speaks to himself despite his idols outside i’m dying as michael a kind of blind-folded disciple can you hear the halogen kids sing recitals? gleaming of high hopes hugging their rifles devotion intact fighting holds of denial beats us up into creatures tired of reason lighting extinction up the pink kings are sinking and i’ll go down with the fleet to a shroud of defeat gotta barbed-wire crown i’m so proud of the grief as i fall to my knees while i’m gnashing my teeth i can see truth through the blood in my eyes little pigs went to the market with severed heads in bags pedaling their fantasies buying riches, selling rags blackening the eyes of their drunk wives with open palms dancing on the graves of veterans and single moms for angels in the my dreams sister, mother and niece i’ll clean the rifle in my closet my holy, metal piece i’ll look into their eyes as they die, soaked in doubt when the screaming ceases i’ll place the rifle in my mouth i was always meant to know i was always meant for more i am michael sufferer blind son of a coke whore “For the angels” lies, relentless lies is all we ever see hide, go ahead and hide you scum, you’re never free there’s a man with a double chin and a silk tie and that man must die and so must i never i knew i was what i despised until i despised every white under sun and sky it’s hard to persist when you hate the very fabric ingrained in your make the very psalms written into your fate the very concept of god and state my folks, my wife, my child my faith, my kind, and i “i don’t wanna die but somehow i feel obliged i don’t wanna die but i’m done clinging to life” and all the signs that keep us defined and all the prayers, they won’t deliver only violence will change our minds only violence will open our eyes my hands, my heart it’s yours my tongue, my soul full form never you were what i admired until i admired every son of coal and fire one day you’ll sleep with a smile knowing all men surrender to light one day you’ll look to the sky and you’ll thank my rifle and i “i don’t wanna die but somehow i feel obliged i don’t wanna die but i’m done clinging life”

[transcript] you're listening to chelsea and the skidmark on mrm's 105.9 philadelphia's home of alternative rock. *laughter* hey philadelphia fans. thanks for tuning in to 105.9 this is chelsea and the skidmark in the morning. we're here with singer/songwriter rodd walsh who's promoting his new album. rodd thanks for being here buddy. yeah man. thanks. so rodd, give it to me straight. you’re a cali boy. what brings you out to the city of brotherly love? uh yeah we’re on tour now uh promoting some new stuff. playing some venues. playing some uh festivals. it’s pretty crazy, especially with this bus now. i mean you pass out in time square, you wake up in a radio studio in south philly man it’s nuts. hah! rock and roll, dude. i mean that’s crazy you gotta grab that bull by the horns and ride it all night long hahaha yeah chelsea knows what i’m talking about. you just gotta have some drinks and go crazy! well uh i mean it is crazy i don’t know i think some of us might have a problem. i mean it's just you can’t stop and every day it just gets a little worse… hahaha so punk rock. it’s awesome! so anyways rodd, what are you promoting here today? uh well we have a new single out. what’s it called bruhh? it’s called i have nothing to say and i’m saying it. *laughter* that’s like some frederick mitchem kind of one liner. it’s terrific. i love it. it’s so cute! thank you so who do you hit the road with these days roddy boy? uh right now i am on tour with free beer and bummer status mhm mhm yeah solid solid solid bands i mean i’ve actually never heard of them but i’m looking now and they have a ton of followers so they must be doing something right ey todd? haha it’s actually rodd whatever i’m just saying not more followers than me so rodd. how’s cali life? i mean just walk me through it a little bit. will ya? uh it’s great man i mean there's tons of really amazing minds and amazing people out there i have the privilege of working with and the weather is gorgeous and you get to do a lot of.. they legalize gay marriage over there. how do you feel about that whole thing? uh i think they legalized it here too? uh are you sure you’re not thinking about pot? hahaha pot! with all due respect rodd. uh you have no idea what you’re talking about.. oh skid mark! leave him alone! i mean regardless, i think it’s great. two people love each other. they want to spend the rest of their lives together. i think that's great. but where does it end rodd? i mean.. if i go to california, can i marry a horse? hahahaha i mean. you know what i’m saying?? i don’t think you can marry a horse? no i know i can’t marry a horse now rodd, okay? what i’m saying is, if a guy can marry a guy and a gal can marry a gal, i mean… soon, a guy can marry a horse and a horse can marry a chicken i mean… it’s just madness, man! well i think the difference is that if you were to marry a horse, a horse doesn’t know it’s getting married.. i mean it’s a horse. it doesn’t know. you know, the difference is that when two human adults get married, they, you know… they have free will. they're planning that. that's where the distinction is. i used to ride horses! so you’re saying i can’t marry horse, rodd? mhm? well i mean if you can find a horse with sentience and it wants to spend the rest of its life with you i think yeah! by all means, put a ring on it’s hoof and raise yourself a couple of centaurs. *laughter* oh this guy! rodd, you literally make me want to go home, drink a bottle of jim beam, drive over to my ex wife’s house, knock on her door, demand for her to have sex with me one last time before i blow my brains out. haha because you’re so god damn perceptive. you’ve got your finger on the pulse, man. it’s crazy. ohhh skidmark! i don’t.. i…. i’m so confused i think what skidmarks really saying is [silly noises] ohhhhh reggie put that away!!! what is going on?? hahaha sorry about that rodd. you’re gonna have to excuse him. that’s reggie the reckless. he’s as reckless as a mother i mean…what are you talking about, skidmark? i saw you do that voice. there’s no other guy in here. it’s just you doing that voice in a microphone. rodd, what are you talking about bro? reggie the reckless is our stuntman. alright? he pulled his dick out. alright? i mean you’re doing my voice right now.. rodd, what are you saying? and now i mean there's no one else here rodd? it’s just you i mean, i am you…. okay i literally can’t right now. rodd buddy, did you take a little crazy juice last night? i mean come on. what are you saying? rodd walsh. rodd walsh.. why do you keep saying your name? no it’s your name. its your name. rodd walsh. it’s your name. it’s my name. it’s your name. this is us. this is me. we’re doing this right now.. oh god. okay we need to wake up. we need to wake up now, okay? rodd, you’re scaring chelsea. wake up! for god's sake rod! wake up now! rodd, buddy.. you gotta calm down. chelsea is freaking out man.. got it.. igot it.. whos chelsea? who’s chelsea? who is she? who is she? she’s my friend. she’s your sister god damn it! she’s your sister. she’s your sister. oh yeah.. today’s her birthday. okay? it made you really upset. why did it make you upset rodd? uh she died rodd. she died in a car crash.. okay? she died two years ago, okay? oh yeah… do you remember anything about that night? uh… i was driving? okay. do you remember anything else? um… i was high? yeah. you were high, rodd. because of that you blame yourself. for two years. it wasn’t your fault and you both know that. don’t say it! don’t say it! nooo! it wasn’t your fault. okay? noo! today was her birthday. alright? do you remember what happened? no! okay. you stayed home from work. you called out sick. don’t say it! don’t say it! you tried to kill yourself. ohhhhh you tried to kill yourself. you need to wake up. you need to wake up, rodd. come on rodd. wake up or you’ll die. we don’t want to die. come on rodd. wake up! wake up right now! we’ll be right back with more chelsea and skidmark in the morning after these messages. this program is brought to you by seretarol keep that shit inside where it belongs

I cried unto the lord On train tracks I soared but couldn’t ignore the pain was worse than before The weight of your hurt Is taking me over And dragging me closer To fear The drink in your eyes The colorless demise Is killing you finally My dear You’ll drown trying To find someway To feel And I am tired of grief that I can’t heal And you might hate me just the same But I refuse to dig your grave If you would just stop giving up And living in your shame you would be great The world it greys The world it greys The mind it frays as you become consumed but I will not stay And I have spent three years Trying to help you find your way And forgive your mistakes But you will always love me less Than the poison in your veins That fuels your wet brain

Heaven’s more real Than my hometown appeal California, marijuana, fear Came here in search Of honesty and work Truth and boldness Artistry sincere He buys me a drink Ill-attempted wink Sits in his own smirk Arrogant cheer As I sharpened my knives All you fluffers and wives You obliged Oh I despise Your safety And diamonds

Oh Bacchus, oh Bacchus Who is toasting to you tonight? Ignore the ceaseless tension To whose party are you giving life? Oh my queen of wine Ease your control of my smile How fallow is your earth? Plant the yards of royals Flung my fresh start Right out of the window Watched it spread its roots with someone new Oh lady, oh lady Brett In whose bed tonight do you slumber? Here while I face the glass Consider future without past Drink deeply, careless drunk Cause steer life ain’t so swell in fact Pamplona’s driving me to wonder How to reach my sun and back Flung my fresh start out the goddamn window Watched it spread its roots with someone new Oh Elaine oh Elaine Can’t we go away for awhile? Flee your mother’s buzzing breath And her sweet, seductive guile Oh Elaine Oh Elaine I feel like a son robbed Daydreamin' in the sun Floating in a cesspool of desire Flung my fresh start out the fucking window Watched it spread its roots with someone new Oh my god, watched him dance with execution “bed went sailing off”, But I smashed snooze ‘til it was dark Spite repeating cauchemars Fly away but don't go on a lark Isn’t it pretty to think how Things could be if we chose with our hearts?

Satire of youtube "comedy" channels. Yes it takes a bit of a dark turn Cast: Dan Avery (Drug & alcohol counselor and doctor of behavioral medicine): Max Tyler: (Co-host of "Boshinmashhhhhhhhhh.....herrrrp"): Heath Kyle:(Co-host of "Boshinmashhhhhhhhh......herrrrp"); Tony Announcer: It's time for another episode of Boshinmashhhhhhhhhh.....herrrrp! Crazy sound bites (distortion, drone) Relaxing jazz piano Piano fades Tyler: And that's why I don't understand why people are scared of ghosts, cause like if you see a ghost, a real ghost of a dead person, you know what that means? It means there's life after death there isn't just infinite blackness, that's fucking beautiful. If you see a ghost you should fuckin' leap in the air with joy because you and everyone you love has a spirit that survives after death. That's amazing. Kyle: Oh my god #afterlife, #thereishope, #Nietzchewaswrong #undyingsoulofman #beautifuluniverse, #ghostsaredope Tyler: #Dopecity Kyle: #ThinkBig Tyler: #NofearDeath Kyle: # Avery: Guys please, can you just please explain to me what's going on? Tyler: Haha okay bro, sorry can't help all this big time stoner talk Kyle: #PotTalk Tyler: This is actually why you're here. So as of late our subs have been talkin' some smack sayin' we puff too much dank Kyle: #PurpClouds Tyler: And we thought cuz we got a lot more monz now Kyle: #CashinChecks Tyler: We'd bring in a prof and get that quality evaluation, nahm sayin'? Kyle: #ProfLife Avery: You want me to give you consultation? Tyler: Yeah bro, but first give us some deets, what's yer name? what's your background? how did you get here? Come on Kyle: #Deetsbrah Avery: Okay look, boys. I'd be more than willing to give you both a professional evaluation. I just don't feel comfortable having all of these microphones and cameras on. I think we should reschedule. If you're really worried you should come to my office, it's only about a 20 minute drive from here. This is a private matter, I don't know why you would even want to record this Tyler: Brah, we just paid you 6 gs to come in here and give us some prof consult, catch 23 is that we gotta upload it to our webblog. Now you wanna take the money and stay for a few min or you wanna bounce? Kyle: #Perspective Avery: ...... *sighs* okay so you think you might be smoking an unhealthy amount of marijuana? Kyle: No brah, we just smoke on the reg, and our fans usually love watching us smoke some dank, but then @traceyRayMay45 was all like "you guys smoke too much smh", and then @MikeScooter002 was all like "the only too much is none at all" and then Tyler and I were like "lol", but then @theRealLindsayLove was like "you guys should see a shrink", and @theRealLindsayLove does not shit post, you know what I mean? So Tyler and I were like "we should totes get a prof in here and get him to give us the GL on the ganj so we can upload it and show our subs that we all good here" and so that's why we called you #lifegoals Tyler: So first give us the deets, who you be? where you from? what's your sign? deets, brah Avery: Alright well... my name is Daniel Avery, I run a private practice in behavioral therapy, which specializes in drug and alcohol abuse treatment options. Tyler: More deets brah, where you from? How did you start? Kyle: #authenticMuch? Avery: Well I was born and raised in Wayne Pennsylvania, I did my bachelor's at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey Kyle + Tyler: Oooooh DAYYYUMMM! Tyler: Rutgers, couldn't cut in the big leagues, DA? Avery: I take it you're not a fan of Rutgers Tyler: Both me and Kye-Kye, Wharton class of 2015, 13.9% acceptance rate, Ivy League dream baby! Kyle: #winners Avery: Well that's fantastic boys, your parents must be very proud. That's a great school. Kyle: #businessBeBoomin Tyler: TD is a Wharton alum, let that speak for itself Avery: Ah... TD? Kyle: #Trumpster #Billionaire Avery: Oh Donald Trump, yes well he's a very successful guy Tyler: Look if you don't like TD, DA I totes get that vibe, but you can't deny my man be stacking piles of dollas, OH! Kyle: #NineZeros Avery: Well he has declared corporate bankruptcy Tyler: Yo Kye-Kye, how much is my man TD worth? pull it up on the googs Kyle: #Networth #4.5bill Tyler: Numbers don't lie, DA, ya feel? Avery: Let's discuss your smoking habits Tyler: Bro to be totes honest, if you're a Rutgers grad, I don't think you can give some Wharton alums some prof consult. You know no offense, but it's like a homeless man tellin' you how to invest your money Kyle: #sotrue Avery: Ah okay well I do have an MD, I have a PhD and I currently run my own private practice, but if you don't want my "prof consult", then I can just "bounce" Kyle: #butthurt Tyler: #Crymuch? Kyle: #passiveAggressive Tyler: #PussyBoy Kyle: #LittleRutgersBoy *** This is where Avery starts to speak in a darker, yet still very calm voice" Avery: If one of you says hashtag again I'm going to skin you alive Kyle: Woah aight DA, we'll cool it with the HTs, #Spaz Avery: I want you boys to do me a favor, would you both please look at this lens? Yes that's it look right in here. What do you see boys? Tyler: int i == 0; i < 9; i++ Kyle: #public#void#ft#endloop Tyler: var system.out.print LN "compile error 20751" Kyle: while( i > 0) { var++; system.out.print(value is equal to "space" var value) Avery: I'm gonna let you boys in on a little secret, you're the worst little rats I've ever had in this cage. You've been down here so long, in front of these fucking computers, there's really not much left of either of you. Not that there was much left to begin with. Tyler: #output.var.system.in Avery: You're ruining my clinical trials, but at least I've identified some side-effects. Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++ Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++ Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++ Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++ Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++ Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++ Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++ Kyle: i < -9 Tyler: i++

Sway my soul Cause my heart is impartial To your cold and lonesome approach One day I’ll die In a fire in the sky And I’ll live forever Through songs of tireless might That scream through the ages Enduring the changes of time The world’s still unfolding Call your boy I hope he’s holding I’d like to sink into euphoric lies And self-demise with no speech till magnesium arrives Fuck the patterns of abuse This rope aint thick enough to entertain a noose You’d rather smoke rocks And skip stones off skidrow With liars, jokes, and droves of beggars Hopeless anger Tunneling through swollen vessels Kiss the ground, The voyages brought hypnotic misery Three cheers for thee! Oh wholesome creature The cold will eat ya Your time will come Remember her warm skin? You pierced it with your agonizing pleas of revival Read your mortgage, read your bible It’s gone Trust in the voices of heavenly grace And lift up your bones from this land laid to waste Ghosts in your hallways Ghosts in your mirror Ghosts in your eyelids They speak much clearer Praise! Praise! Praise! We’re changing We’re changing No pain, no pain, no pain Burn all the mountains Burn all the seas And all of you cunts You’ll burn with me Burn all the cities Burn all the skies Burn all the priests Who’ve been spreading their lies! Jump in our ashes Now jump in our ashes Come swim inside this darkened carbon mine The world needs changing And angelic babies Cross into the afterlife and Leave them all behind You, you’re all the same Calculating, calculating, little grains of fame It's sad I can't help, but laugh The past becomes black and all we ever see is wrath A child buried in the sand I tried to get help, but I could barely stand Empathy was all i had Empathy for no reason And in my head there's nothing wrong.. I hold onto little strengths of life Chasing all the faculties inside

Sun melts the snow Rain falls from overcast glow It’s how everyday goes And here you are Here we are Floating With hooks in our backs We put them there Just to feel anything Just to feel anything at all